BLOGGERS

Don't evaluate me until tonight please. I have been having technical difficulties and brain problems. I'll have the other 1 up tonight, aiight?

Love ya.

Ha! This is just too good.

So I'm sure you've all seen that Quiznno's Prime Rib Sub on Garlic Bread commercial where real people take the taste test between Quizno's and Subways version but oops... Subway doesn't have one! Pretty standard commercials for Quizno's nothing exciting but this one makes me turn the volume on high to make sure I get to see the whole thing. Because of that damn woman!! The woman at the end who speaks of "the sandwich having more meat and that's what a woman wants" is hilarious! Firstly, that statement seems unscripted and I'm really glad the editor was smart enough to not cut it. BUT THE LAUGH AT THE END!!!!! She doesn't sound human, it's amazing! I really want to be this womans friend. Anyway, I say good job to this commercial cause it is really dorky/charming and I have not met one person who has seen it and didn't have something to say about it. Here is a funny edited version of it:

Quizno's Woman... find me so I can make you laugh

I've never even seen this one probably becasue people love that weird woman so much:

Makes you hungry... but isn't funny!

Music and Commercials

It usually bothers me when commercials use really famous songs in their ads just because they know so many people will like the song and perhaps like the ad better because of it. I see it as a bit of a cop out, almost like they are relying on the current fan base for the music. BUT I can think of one company who constantly uses popular songs but does it in the best way possible. I know you are thinking it so I'll so go on and say it: Dr. Pepper.

They have used Meatloaf, Queen and now Tom Jones. Hello. The reason they are so good is because they make a story out of the song that relates to Dr. Pepper rather than just play it. The Meatloaf one where the guy will do anything for love including buying his woman tampons, doing laundry, going to yoga, etc. but he "won't do that" as in give his Dr. Pepper up. Or the one where he wants it all so he performs outrageous stunts like drive a convertible across an icy road. Only the best for this man, including his Dr. Pepper (by the way that actor is hilarious - his smile is so genuine and jazzed). And the newest one which I love showing numerous people eating all sorts of sugary treats like an ice cream cone but the reflection of it in the window is a Diet Dr. Pepper. Or a man will be pouring jelly beans in his mouth from a Diet Dr. Pepper glass. Frozen yogurt coming out of a fountain machine, a cupcake coming out of a vending machine, a woman sipping a milkshake with a Diet Dr. Pepper reflection, etc. etc. all to the tune of Help Yourself by Tom Jones. GENIUS. It is so well done and all the of the people involved are very believable and it gets the job down well. It is memorable and you get the idea that Diet Dr. Pepper is just as satisfying as a sugary treat without all of the calories.

My only complaint is the woman at the end who is drinking from a straw that is attached to a piece of "cake" on the bus and they cut to a guy looking at her and then they cut back to her holding the DDP and she makes the WEIRDEST smirk! I get that they want her to look like she knows a secret the rest of the world doesn't, but she is making a "I know a secret" face for something much bigger than DDP tasting delicious. It's just weird and I often find myself scoffing. BUT it is not even close enough to make me dislike this ad. Woo Dr. Pepper! Fuel my addiction!

The total for your burger and fries is your manhood.

I was surfing the net looking for info on fast food advertising not related to child obesity (which seems to be endless, by the way) and I found this article:

Fast-Food Chains Buck The Healthy Trend

I found this very interesting and something I noticed recently. Save for Subway, most other fast food chains have dropped the healthy bit and shimmied back into to fatties. Remember the good ol' days when McDonald's was trying to save face after Super-Size Me and added tons of "healthier" items and even a pedometer in an adult happy meal? Remember?? Americans are back to their old antics and chowing down giant burgers at an alarming rate. Why? Cause advertising says it's okay now! Who knew this blog would change directions from unthoughtful ads to strictly hating what advertising does to people (I still hate unthoughtful ads though, duh). I decided to research red meat because I've heard time and time again about how red meat pretty much rots in your bod. Lo and behold, numerous articles state high red meat consumption puts you in much greater risk for colon cancer and prostate cancer. Did ya hear that guys? Prostate cancer. Burger for your balls to put it poetically.

My new dream in life is to get hired to do the advertising for either McDonald's, Burger King, etc. and then secretly switch their commerical with one depicting a colonoscopy of a man with one testicle screaming "no more fast food" and then fade to black and in text run the name of whatever fast food company it is. I wonder how people will react to THAT fast food commerical. Hmm, maybe I should just contact truth.

Ohhh woe is me.

So, lately I have been in a rut. I continue to go back and forth on what exactly it is that I find so dreadful in advertising today. Sometimes I feel like I am just a rambling nut who has a hard time articulating herself, but then other times I really feel like I have a hold on what it is that gets me.

The other night I was having a conversation with my 3 roomies (all 20-21 year old college ladies) about the Taco Bell Fourth Meal campaign as it came on during America's Next Top Model. I expressed how it made me frustrated that Taco Bell is promoting more eating, especially really fattening bad-for-you food. I also thought it was weird to play something like during a modeling competition. They all disagreed. They told me that there is an audience for the fourth meal and that they all do it and it resonates with them. Sigh, it really scares me. I know that sometimes I eat a fourth meal late at night at a fast food place but I never want to think that it is an okay idea. I hate when I do that [eat a fourth meal], and advertising has such a strong impact on people whether they like to think it does or not. Please ladies, go eat a fourth meal and then watch ANTM and feel bad about yourself. Then I sound like such a Sour Samantha because I feel like I sound like such a prude because I criticize "humorous" ads. Like the Jack In The Box stoner ad, I'm sure so many people laughed their faces off at it. I get it, it is funny but so evil. Advertising can be evil.

They get you to laugh so you eat more and get fat. They get you to laugh so you smoke more and become a pothead (this is a stretch, I'm really just referring to one ad). They get you to laugh so you think men should be macho, etc. etc. You may think I'm over-analyzing but I truly think this is what these ads do to Americans. Think about it: in high school someone told me tapered jeans are going to make a comeback and all of my friends scoffed and said that would never happen. Eventually skinny jeans came back and they are now a staple. Or when I first heard that wretched Unplugged version of "Freak on A Leash" with Korn and Amy Lee of Evanescence on MTV. I wanted to die when I first heard it, but over time I hated it less (though I never grew to like it). If you see something long enough you become adapted to the idea, of course this works the same with ads.

Hope in the weirdest of places.

I find it rather amusing that of all fast food companies to produce an ad that is not using trashy advertising would be McDonald's. If you are holding your breath in a raging fury because you think I am refering to that weird ad where they profile McDonald's fries as the "it thing this season" then friend of mine, you can start breathing. I'm talking about this ad:

McDonalds's Commercial

I think it is cute and using a well known concept. It's not genius but it is also not heavily promoting overeating or some dumb gender role. I laughed at the silly man.

Fast Food Commercials

Okay, so I tried to channel my anger and really try to figure out what makes me so irritated with American advertising, specifically commercials. I'm thinking it lies mostly in fast food advertising. Not only are the concepts behind their advertisements slap-stick but they are also responsible for casting stereotypes upon many different people. I've selected my favorite bad fast food ads.

Burger King - Eat Like a Snake

I know, let's encourage unhealthy eating habits even more, right? First, we'll tell all of America to consume a burger with THREE patties, but better yet, let's make sure the heart really feels the punch by eating it in one bite. Right??? Good call on using a Japanese man too because lord knows they win all of those eating contests and not gain an ounce of weight. It wouldn't be quite as appealing to fast food eaters if an obese Oliver took double the time to sliver his fat bod through those chairs, coughing up chicken bones and sweating profusely on his way to eat his way to another heart attack.

Arby's - Dog Commercial

As an animal lover of every breed, I am not pleased. I'm not even PETA'ing out on you, I just think this commercial is lame. As if I'd break my car window for a sick sandwich weighing in around a hefty 900 calories. To be honest, I'd rather eat that doggie first. I don't even think this commercial makes sense. Why was his beloved sandie in the car without him anyway? All I have to say is thank god it wasn't a baby and not a dog, too many dumb, fat daddies on TV.

I really wish I could have found the commercial for this one. It's the Taco Bell Fouth Meal campaign. You can go to www.fourthmeal.com to gather a glimpse. It's pretty much encouraging a meal between dinner and breakfast. How sick is that? We all know kids get drunk and crave meals but for gods sake do we really need to encourage that? Obesity is everywhere in this country, so instead of adding salads or reducing portion size... why not just add another meal? People out there probably now think it's okay to chow down a taco built from the use of a "meat tube" (I kid you not, once my friend went to buy some food and they told her the MEAT TUBE was broken. THAT IS SO GROSS).

Jack In The Box - Stoner

Wow, that was blatant. I think what I find most ironic about this ad is that Jack In The Box is Christian, check out the O and the X of box to make the little Christian fishie. Anyway, why would they promote smoking weed? Money? Sick. This is so bad on so many levels. Get high, eat lots of unhealthy food, get fat. Good job America.

At least maybe I'll lose weight getting nauseated watching these ads.

Examples of Artful Powerful Advertising

If only commercials could follow these fantastic print ads.







Real ideas that involve genuine creativity and art direction.

Fast Food

Granted this commerical may not be the most genius but I still really like it. It is for Dairy Queens Flamethrower Sandwich. I think it's a nice change to see a silly ad that actually correlates with the product

Watch it here

You'll have to excuse my absence

Pardon my lack of responses, you see I was in a paralyzed state after being subjected to so many wretched ads these days. Before I dive further, I would like it to be known I have a very high tolerance for shitty things. For example, I can park my body down on my couch multiple times a week to watch (and re-watch) episodes of VH1's I Love New York and MTV's The Hills while holding my bladder full of Red Bull until a commercial break as to not miss anything. So, how could an individual subject herself to New York moaning in ecstasy over an awkward Jewish boy from Boston with complete interest, but when put in front of half the ads in America today she hides for cover while silently singing to herself the "800-800-8553" theme song in a crazy rage?

TV shows are allowed to be dumb. They aren't selling me anything other than the satisfaction that I'm not (that) crazy. But ads? Ads aren't supposed to be 30 seconds of condensed idiocy! They are supposed to sell you something and I think the people of America deserve a little more respect. I think that continuing to dumb down America by using poor humor and stereotypes is cheap and well, makes people more dumb. My main beef at the moment is Burger King (ironically enough, that was not an intended pun and the use of such low humor makes me look like a hypocrite. It was a mistake!! I was very tempted to say "misteak"). Burger King's commercials are the WORST.

If you've somehow escaped viewing their most embarassing ad, "The Manthem", let me corrupt you:

The Manthem (is really stupid)

Take a minute after, I know. Okay, ready? HOW IS THAT OKAY? They use such a low grade of humor it is appalling! Now, I get it, Carl's Jr. has all those sex-biased commercials and there is always some big hooplah over their stuff but at least they do it with some originality. I have no problem with ads playing off of a gender as long as it required some thought/wit. Here is where I am most disturbed: there are people out there who found this to be funny. Studies show people unconscioulsy imitate what they see on TV. Hmm, let's think. A stupid human laughs hysterically at The Manthem, runs to Burger King to get their Texas Double Whopper, enjoys it while replaying scenes of the commerical in their head then getting a surge of brilliance to act them out themselves? Okay, that may be nuts but that behavior of men only doing manly things needs to go and it is just ignorant, and we don't need any more things influencing the public of America in that way. Men don't need to be super macho, women are allowed to eat big, giant burgers. We need to evolve and get out of these stupid mindsets and move away from advertisements that push them back.

An article published on January 31, 2007 in The Miami Herald revealed this upsetting piece of news, "The Miami-based fast-food chain said net income for the second quarter climbed 41 percent to $38 million, or 28 cents per share, compared to $27 million, or 24 cents, during the same period last year. Revenue increased 9 percent to $559 million from $512 million". They think they are doing something right.

Note to Creative Directors

I was informed by my Advertising professor that numerous brands are going straight to the mass population to create ads for them through contests. It seems like all of Dorito's new commercials have been created this way, inlcuding their Super Bowl spot (see www.snackstrongproductions.com). Now, I do agree that that would be a really neat prize, and I did laugh at that commericial (specifically because I love when people fall and that girl falling was quite convincing) but it sort of scares me at the same time. Will this lead to a trend of companies skipping over the Advertising agencies all together to gain publicity, cut costs, and get feedback directly from their target audience? To be honest, if I were in charge of a brand - it would seem like a pretty genius idea to me. Forget the research, forget the costs, why not have the people who love your brand tell you what will sell your product?

I yi yi.

So I say, turn it up agencies. Make your commercials more than what the general public can give you. I've always loved print ads over commericals because they seem like they are more art than anything. So, let's do the same to commercials. And soon.

I leave you with this. The American version commerical for a Sony Bravia TV:

American Version

And here is the European version:

European Version

I become speechless when attempting to explain why the American version is just wretched in comparsion. No more crap America, get your act together otherwise... well, I'll be jobless.