How to keep America dumb? Train them young.

FOXNews.com posted an article today called Kids Eat 100 Percent More After Food Commercials. In the UK at the University of Liverpool they conducted a survey with 60 children ranging in ages 9 to 11. They had them watch food and toy commercials before viewing a cartoon. Food intake increased dramatically when the children watched the food commercial before the cartoon. Obese children had an increase of food take at 134%, overweight at 101% and normals at 84%.

"Our research confirms food TV advertising has a profound effect on all children's eating habits - doubling their consumption rate," said Dr. Jason Halford, director of the university's Kissileff Human Ingestive Behaviour Laboratory, in a press statement released by the University of Liverpool. "The study was also particularly interesting in suggesting a strong connection between weight and susceptibility to over-eating."

Well, duh. I am no child and I can watch a commercial for an Applebee's dish and crave it within minutes and I think Applebee's is gnarly. I don't mean gnarly in the sense a surfer would use it. What I mean is that advertising is brainwashing. Every person seems to know this yet still are persuaded by it. Poor children, they are too innocent to know the ways of the advertising world so when they see that ad for the McDonald's Happy Meal, they want it and they want it now. I wouldn't be quite as sickened by this if say Yoplait yogurt, Subway, Tropicana, veggies and fruit commercials were aimed at kids but of course it's all fatty mcfat and sugary goods. All I have to say is, parents - where the hell are you and why are you letting your kids get so damned fat?

The total for your burger and fries is your manhood.

I was surfing the net looking for info on fast food advertising not related to child obesity (which seems to be endless, by the way) and I found this article:

Fast-Food Chains Buck The Healthy Trend

I found this very interesting and something I noticed recently. Save for Subway, most other fast food chains have dropped the healthy bit and shimmied back into to fatties. Remember the good ol' days when McDonald's was trying to save face after Super-Size Me and added tons of "healthier" items and even a pedometer in an adult happy meal? Remember?? Americans are back to their old antics and chowing down giant burgers at an alarming rate. Why? Cause advertising says it's okay now! Who knew this blog would change directions from unthoughtful ads to strictly hating what advertising does to people (I still hate unthoughtful ads though, duh). I decided to research red meat because I've heard time and time again about how red meat pretty much rots in your bod. Lo and behold, numerous articles state high red meat consumption puts you in much greater risk for colon cancer and prostate cancer. Did ya hear that guys? Prostate cancer. Burger for your balls to put it poetically.

My new dream in life is to get hired to do the advertising for either McDonald's, Burger King, etc. and then secretly switch their commerical with one depicting a colonoscopy of a man with one testicle screaming "no more fast food" and then fade to black and in text run the name of whatever fast food company it is. I wonder how people will react to THAT fast food commerical. Hmm, maybe I should just contact truth.

Ohhh woe is me.

So, lately I have been in a rut. I continue to go back and forth on what exactly it is that I find so dreadful in advertising today. Sometimes I feel like I am just a rambling nut who has a hard time articulating herself, but then other times I really feel like I have a hold on what it is that gets me.

The other night I was having a conversation with my 3 roomies (all 20-21 year old college ladies) about the Taco Bell Fourth Meal campaign as it came on during America's Next Top Model. I expressed how it made me frustrated that Taco Bell is promoting more eating, especially really fattening bad-for-you food. I also thought it was weird to play something like during a modeling competition. They all disagreed. They told me that there is an audience for the fourth meal and that they all do it and it resonates with them. Sigh, it really scares me. I know that sometimes I eat a fourth meal late at night at a fast food place but I never want to think that it is an okay idea. I hate when I do that [eat a fourth meal], and advertising has such a strong impact on people whether they like to think it does or not. Please ladies, go eat a fourth meal and then watch ANTM and feel bad about yourself. Then I sound like such a Sour Samantha because I feel like I sound like such a prude because I criticize "humorous" ads. Like the Jack In The Box stoner ad, I'm sure so many people laughed their faces off at it. I get it, it is funny but so evil. Advertising can be evil.

They get you to laugh so you eat more and get fat. They get you to laugh so you smoke more and become a pothead (this is a stretch, I'm really just referring to one ad). They get you to laugh so you think men should be macho, etc. etc. You may think I'm over-analyzing but I truly think this is what these ads do to Americans. Think about it: in high school someone told me tapered jeans are going to make a comeback and all of my friends scoffed and said that would never happen. Eventually skinny jeans came back and they are now a staple. Or when I first heard that wretched Unplugged version of "Freak on A Leash" with Korn and Amy Lee of Evanescence on MTV. I wanted to die when I first heard it, but over time I hated it less (though I never grew to like it). If you see something long enough you become adapted to the idea, of course this works the same with ads.

Fast Food Commercials

Okay, so I tried to channel my anger and really try to figure out what makes me so irritated with American advertising, specifically commercials. I'm thinking it lies mostly in fast food advertising. Not only are the concepts behind their advertisements slap-stick but they are also responsible for casting stereotypes upon many different people. I've selected my favorite bad fast food ads.

Burger King - Eat Like a Snake

I know, let's encourage unhealthy eating habits even more, right? First, we'll tell all of America to consume a burger with THREE patties, but better yet, let's make sure the heart really feels the punch by eating it in one bite. Right??? Good call on using a Japanese man too because lord knows they win all of those eating contests and not gain an ounce of weight. It wouldn't be quite as appealing to fast food eaters if an obese Oliver took double the time to sliver his fat bod through those chairs, coughing up chicken bones and sweating profusely on his way to eat his way to another heart attack.

Arby's - Dog Commercial

As an animal lover of every breed, I am not pleased. I'm not even PETA'ing out on you, I just think this commercial is lame. As if I'd break my car window for a sick sandwich weighing in around a hefty 900 calories. To be honest, I'd rather eat that doggie first. I don't even think this commercial makes sense. Why was his beloved sandie in the car without him anyway? All I have to say is thank god it wasn't a baby and not a dog, too many dumb, fat daddies on TV.

I really wish I could have found the commercial for this one. It's the Taco Bell Fouth Meal campaign. You can go to www.fourthmeal.com to gather a glimpse. It's pretty much encouraging a meal between dinner and breakfast. How sick is that? We all know kids get drunk and crave meals but for gods sake do we really need to encourage that? Obesity is everywhere in this country, so instead of adding salads or reducing portion size... why not just add another meal? People out there probably now think it's okay to chow down a taco built from the use of a "meat tube" (I kid you not, once my friend went to buy some food and they told her the MEAT TUBE was broken. THAT IS SO GROSS).

Jack In The Box - Stoner

Wow, that was blatant. I think what I find most ironic about this ad is that Jack In The Box is Christian, check out the O and the X of box to make the little Christian fishie. Anyway, why would they promote smoking weed? Money? Sick. This is so bad on so many levels. Get high, eat lots of unhealthy food, get fat. Good job America.

At least maybe I'll lose weight getting nauseated watching these ads.